


It feels like something sweet

by Kyonkichi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming Out Angst, Established Relationship, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 11:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1549640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyonkichi/pseuds/Kyonkichi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Armin has coming out woes. He also has the two that he loves, and maybe it'll sting less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It feels like something sweet

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! And thank you to all who might read this.

He was in their room for all of two seconds when he blurted out “I told them,” which caused Eren to glance up from his rapid texting, Mikasa shifting from slumber beside him.

“What?”

“Fuck, she’s asleep,” Armin said, and after Mikasa answered, “No I’m not,” he crossed the room and climbed on the bed with them.

“Sorry.”

“It’s cool,” she said, rubbing at her eye. Armin took a deep breath, gripping Eren’s bedsheets, trying to steady himself. “Okay. Greetings first. Hi, Eren. Hi, Mikasa.” Armin took another breath, a second one, a third, clenching and twisting the fabric in his hands even tighter, as if he would tear them if he could. 

Eren said, “Jesus, Armin!” at the same time Mikasa said, “Are you okay?” and Armin was annoyed. Really goddamned annoyed, because this wasn’t neat and tidy, he had wanted things to be that way but they weren’t and instead, here he was, being all difficult and panicky. And even as his breathing calmed down, Armin was aware of the trembling through every inch of his body, and that his heart was beating much too quickly, and that he would really, _really_ love to scream into a pillow at that instant.

Shutting his eyes closed and exhaling a final time, he began to speak.

“Well I, uh. I sorta came out? Um. To my mom – and I probably should have told you both that I was gonna do it first! But it just came out! Haha. God, and my mom’s gonna tell dad, and he’s gonna fucking tell granddad, and they’re all gonna fucking _fucking_ know.”

He became silent and opened his eyes, seeing the faces of the two in front of him. Faces of mild shock and deep concern. Armin shrank inwardly – he didn’t want to talk about it, but he had to, didn’t he? There was no way he wouldn’t. Because this was Mikasa and Eren, and he loved them.

Unclenching his hands from fists, Armin attempted to relax. In all honesty, he had pictured how this whole thing could go – this coming out ordeal. Way, way more than once. _I am bisexual_ , he would say in front of them all, all of his relatives in person, instead of just his mother during weekly Skype sessions, _and I have known for a while_ , he would add.

_I’m sorry for not telling you all sooner._

_I love you. So, so much._

And among the _It’s okay_ and the _I’m so proud_ and the _I love you too, I always will_ , from his beloved family members, there would be a swelling sense of relief filling his chest, relief and gratitude, that he got the happy story. There would be group hugs, tears of affection - good-natured gestures that good-natured families did for their recently-outed child.

Armin wasn’t expecting ideal – he really wasn’t, why would he? But it had become a part of him in a way, that hopeful scenario.

Things were much too far away from that for his comfort.

“She’s…I don’t think she’s taking it well,” Armin said finally, looking down at his fidgeting hands. “I mean, she’s probably freaking out right now…”

“What?” asked Eren, scooting closer so that they were bumping knees. “Did she do anything? What did she do?” Mikasa gave a small nod of encouragement, with a gaze solely focused on Armin. Her eyes were sparked with worry just like Eren’s, though they were not as wide as his.

He thought back, to how he said it very quickly, as if ripping off a bandaid, trying to get the words out as soon as he could. _I really think you should know_ , he said next, a little slower.

And when he finally glanced up from the keyboard, his eyes connecting with his mother’s, there was that subtle, undeniable chill up his spine. From her gaze – tinted with disbelief and hostility, shame and disgust, everything he had ever feared. 

It was only a split second, but it was more than enough. And Armin had never felt more insignificant.

“She didn’t do anything,” he whispered. “She just left.”

Without a word, he recalls. And the silence was incredible as he stared at the screen where she wasn’t there.

Perhaps, Armin wondered, it would have been better if she had said something. Anything – even if they were damning words, even if she cursed him, even if she tried to convince him that no, he wasn’t _like that_ , that he was only confused…not this silence, something that screamed with how much he didn’t matter.

“I called her,” he continued, throat suddenly feeling too tight. “I tried calling her.”

“Ar-”

“This is worse, s-so much-” and there it was again, the frightened, small him that he _despised_ \- “what I thought was going to h-happen, it wasn’t like this, I-” he was going to be gasping for air really soon, and _God_ , Armin thought, _fuck that_. Why did he have to feel this way? Why? Because he loved, he knew he did, he loved his mother, but he _hated hated hated_ – how could she do this to him, her own _child_ -

“Armin,” Mikasa interrupted, her breath catching on his name, her hand reaching out for his arm. She pulled him closer until he was settled, half in her lap, with his legs lightly resting on Eren’s. 

“Just stay here,” she said, lifting her right hand to run it through his hair. At the same time Eren lifted Armin’s shirt a bit to glide his fingers over bare skin. Armin shivered and took Mikasa’s hand, fingers fitting in between hers. “Stay here with us.” He could cry, although his chest burned with how much he willed himself not to – he could soak Mikasa’s shirt with his tears and whimper loudly and it wouldn’t matter. They would just bring him in closer, Eren wiping at the wetness on his face, Mikasa tightening her arms around his waist. Armin held it in anyway.

“Shit, Armin,” Eren breathed. “I’m…that shouldn’t have fucking happened, I’m so-”

“Eren,” Armin said, after a tiny gasp. “Don’t, please.”

“I just-” Eren stopped then, struck by a sudden intensity. Armin raised a hand to stroke at the space between his furrowed eyebrows. His thumb traveled to his large, pleading eyes – Armin could feel his long lashes tickle his finger. 

“We can do something, right?” Eren inched forward, and Armin could feel his hand being brought to Mikasa’s lips. “Right?”

Armin surged forward - _of course_ , he thought, _they always did everything for him_ \- and softly kissed his mouth before he could say anything else – a quick, sweet kiss lasting a few seconds.

“You are,” he said after pulling away. “Don’t apologize.” Eren’s eyes were glistening and filled with so much compassion that Armin felt the urge to kiss them as well. So he did, gripping Mikasa’s hand tighter. 

“Armin-”

“I’ll be fine. I’m okay.”

Mikasa lifted a hand to cup his face, her thumb stroking the skin of his cheek. Her expression questioned his response, and at once he drew her in for a kiss as well, her lips gentle and inviting.

Armin always wanted more, more moments like these, especially when he felt as if he were sinking, trying to breathe, and he didn’t know how he should feel – the fact that he could lose himself in them so readily. With the three wrapped around each other, trying to leave as little space as possible. Exchanging kisses and small touches and feeling each other’s warmth. 

It was nice and it was needed, and Armin wondered if he could banish all of his toxic thoughts with their presence.

“I didn’t tell her about us,” murmured Armin, nuzzling into Mikasa’s neck and kissing the skin there. “I should have. I wanted to.”

“When you’re ready, Armin,” Mikasa said, sighing contentedly. Eren hummed in agreement, his fingers drawing circles on the small of Armin’s back. There was a small smile on Eren’s face, and Armin felt a little less heavy, smiling a bit as well. Maybe things would be fine. He could be hopeful sometimes – he could be optimistic, Armin figured. Because it was something – something truly, incredibly amazing that he could be there with them, in their arms.


End file.
